Saturday, 29 August 2009

Legal case against God thrown out!

How funny!

Just reading the news that a State Senator in Nebraska has had his legal case against of all people, God, thrown out due to the fact that the Defendant has no address, so they cannot serve papers for him to attend Court!

The Senator, Ernie Chambers, had sought a permanent injunction to prevent "death, destruction, and terrorisation" caused by the big man himself!

Chambers sued God last year saying that God had threatened him and the people of Nebraska and had inflicted widespread death, destruction, and terrorisation of millions of Earth's inhabitants.

We phoned God for a comment on the news, and he said "Well I have no fixed abode, so there was nothing he could do, what a fool Ernie must now feel"


So, it got me thinking, if you could sue someone/something bizarre, what would it be?

For me, I'd sue the Sun for failing to show up in British summers, as it has constantly failed to deliver on its promise to light up the skies over the UK, and keep us all warm!!!

Who or what would you sue?

Friday, 28 August 2009

Create your own Ice Cream flavour!

Yes, today, the sun is shining, and after yesterday's dismal day in my life, that's a huge uplift.

So, to celebrate the fact that the big shining ball in the sky is here once again, I felt it right to bring up the subject of Ice Cream.

So, today I'm asking what flavour would you create if you had the opportunity, money being no object of course, you can decorate your ice cream in anything, or you create a brand new one - I promise not to suddenly start up a brand new franchise of weird ice cream flavours with your suggestions.

I think my creation, to start the ball rolling, would be a flavour of Southern Comfort & Lime, hmmmm yeah, quite fancy that now actually, may have to get that one on the go!!

So, what would yours be?

Tell me...

Thursday, 27 August 2009

How to combat being stressed out!

This morning, I've had the morning from hell in work, nothing has gone right it seems, people annoying me, then jobs not going the way they should be, and I've left my wallet at home!

So, yes, pretty stressed out, and thinking how can I de-stress?

Well, several things have crossed my mind, I could just shout "aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh" at the top of my voice, whilst typing at a million miles an hour (or kilometres an hour for you US Ladies & Gents), or I could take myself for a walk, but thanks to the British weather, I'd probably get rained on knowing my current luck!

Or I could go and read the newspapers, but they are full of stories that make you want to jump off a cliff, or I could just look at my bank balance, but hold on no, I want to cheer myself up, not throw me over that cliff edge!

So, come on folks, I need ideas on how to de-stress myself - please, I'm in need of help right now!

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

What's the worst invention ever made?

Having just read some news about how Mobile TV has failed to take off in recent years, it set my ever wondering mind off thinking there must be lots of things out there that turned out to be woeful inventions.

The Chocolate Fireguard?

An Ash Tray for a Motorbike?

The Solar Powered Torch?

A few legit ones could involve Reality TV, Helicopter Ejection Seats, or even George Bush,

Yes, there must be plenty out there, but what is the worst ever invention in your opinion???

Let me know below (heh I'm a poet & I know it!)...

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

What would you give up for a year?

Just reading through an article about abstaining from sex for a year - perish the thought - mind you if you want to give that up for a year, just get married!

It'll soon disappear from the radar!!!

Only joking Mrs B =)

That's a guaranteed ban coming up!!

Anyway, thinking about it what could I give up for year?

Give up drinking? No
Give up chocolate? No
Give up football? Definetly not.

Okay, I'm struggling here.... I know, I could give up an hours sleep and produce the Daily Banksy that extra hour earlier...nahhh.

Okay, in need of help now, any ideas for what we could give up for a year, mind you that sounds like I'm trying to start a cult thing going, definetly not doing that, but if we all meet up at a certain time in a certain place, with candles, and all say "uummmm" at the same time, no hold on, not really into that kind of thing!

Anyway, I've digressed a little again, what would you give up for a year?

Monday, 24 August 2009

Joke of the Day?

I've just finished reading a bit of news about the prizewinner of the funniest joke at this year's Edinburgh Fringe.

The joke that won:

"Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?"

Like it!

In fact here are some other belters from the top 10 list:

"I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

"I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."

"I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."

"I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

"Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

"To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

"A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."

"I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."

"I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

I seem to remember watching the Montreal Comedy Festival years ago, no in fact it was probably over 2 decades ago now, and used to love that comedian Stephen Wright, he had me in stitches with these two:

No matter what temperature a room is, it will always be room temperature, and

I walked across each state of America looking for dog, the whole time he was behind me!

Another classic I recall was from the late Dave Allen, an Irish comedian, who said "people actually believe that if you are stuck in a lift that is hurtling down to the floor, you'll be okay as long as you jump up before it hits the ground!!!

Brilliant one that, anyway, what's the funniest thing you've heard?

Let me know...

Sunday, 23 August 2009

How extreme are you?

Just sitting here thinking of extreme things that I've done in my life of thirty six years, and I guess one of the most exhilarating things I have ever done is jump out of a plane 10,000 feet up!

That was one magic experience, although plenty of nerves in the half hour leading up to it as the plane circled it's way up 1000ft by 1000ft!

The feeling of sitting on the edge of the plane door underneath the wing was pretty mad too - it was a tandem jump, and I was sitting over the edge of the plane thinking oh well this is it!

The fall was pretty intense, I'd liken it to sticking your head out of a car window as you go along the motorway at 120mph (not that I ever do that you understand), like dogs do, which also makes me laugh!

Once that chute opens though, jeez you suddenly feel yourself being yanked back up in the air, or so it seems, I know it's only slowing you down really, but I tell you what I certainly had a high voice afterwards - I'm sure you fellas will know what I mean!

The landing was a bit of a butt-hurting moment too, landing right on it, but once down, punched the air with delight at the fact that I'd not only survived, but enjoyed every minute of it!

So, what's the most extreme thing you've done?

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Mobile Throwing Competition???

As promised, back to the lighter side of life after my rant yesterday, and what a bizarre thing I saw today - a mobile phone throwing competition!
Yes, it really is a proper competition, in the European country Finland it is anyway!!

No seriously, it is!

Now I know of many occasions where I've wanted to throw somebody's mobile out of their reach as they've been a tad loud on the phone, and rather annoying in the process.

I don't think it's a case of throwing someone else's mobile, but how fun would that be, it would be the perfect way to get back at people who annoy us with their telecommunication skills - or should I say lack of them!

Anyway, the Finns don't stop there, they even have a Wife Carrying competition - i don't think I'd better visit that subject for fear of violence for the better side of gender - see my way of trying to be kind to the female kind there?
So, if you were to come up with a bizarre competition, what would you come up with?

For me, it would be a "How much sherbert can you shove in your mouth without exploding?" competition, the sheer looks of pressure on those eyeballs would be so so funny to watch!

Anyway, over to you all...

Friday, 21 August 2009

Lockerbie Bomber Released...Why?

Today, for one day only, the Daily Banksy drifts over to the serious side, as one story is dominating world news, and I just can't get it out of my head, so I thought I'd have to do a serious blog today about it.

So, what's it all about?

Well, unless you have had your head buried in the sand the last couple of days, you will have heard the news about the Lockerbie bomber being set free from Prison in Scotland, UK, on compassionate grounds. the reason is apparently has terminal cancer, which granted is not good news, but neither was the fact that he helped end the lives of 270 people - most of which were Americans - travelling on the Pan Am flight 21 years ago this year in December.

A murderer should face life in prison, no matter what his health situation is, he has served only 8 years of his sentence, and has released so that he can die in his homeland.

Let's just say they have got the prognosis wrong, and that it isn't terminal, will they go and get him back? No. Would Libya let him be recaptured? No, of course not.

This decision absolutely stinks, and on his exit from prison & climbing up the steps to the plane he appeared a frail old man, yet on touchdown in Libya, he appeared at the top of the steps to the plan punching the sky with delight.

It's a disgrace this, don't blame the Scottish people though, they are just as much up in arms about this whole affair, remember they were badly affected by what happened that fateful night.

No, this is politics at it's worst I'm afraid.

They are a poor breed, and often accused of sleaze, well today, I'm accusing them of absent mindedness.

That's it - serious rant over from me, but I welcome your views.

ps Back to the light side on the next update I promise!

Thursday, 20 August 2009

Pepsi or Coca Cola?

What's your favourite then??

Are you a Pepsi or Coke addict - I mean that in the nice way of course!!!

I have to say that I'm a bit of a Coke (well Diet anyway) fan, rather than the Pepsi, but then again, I wouldn't refuse one if someone offered me it for free!!

Saying that a lot of the pubs over here have Pepsi on draft, and that does tend to taste okay, so I guess I'd settle for it, but which one do you prefer?

It's always a bit of a battle between the two isn't it, and the quest for finding out each other's secrets seem to continue on a daily basis!

So, tell me, what's your tipple?

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

What do Americans really think of us Brits?

Yes, this one is for all you American readers / bloggers to answer!

A lot is made over here of the Americans being a bit over the top when it comes to doing "normal" things, like the cheering in cinemas / theatres for instance - that being just one example.

On the flip side, I view Americans of having pride in their country, something a lot of British people don't have, and would rather spend the time moaning.

However, one common view is that people in the US like the Brits, as they like the Queen, or other members of the royal family - trust me we're not all like that!!!

Anyway, over to you American folk!

Let me know your thoughts...

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

What would you get rid of?

If you had the chance to get rid of something from this world tomorrow, what would it be?

I don't mean killing off people, more like objects that you just can't be bothered with, or things that get to you.

There's bound to be something that you just wish wasn't around in everyday life that would make things just a little more bearable.

It could be anything from annoying insects to those really annoying maker pens that make a squeaky noise when they write on a white board - see it really could be anything!!!

Or how's about mobile phones? we could all go back to the days of not really knowing everything about each other, or txt tlk, I mn wdnt it b gr8?

Anyway, what would you get rid of?

Monday, 17 August 2009

What would you do with a 25th hour?

Having started the first week of a holiday from work, it's so noticeable how you never seem to come to a stop during your working day, and quite often the line "there are never enough hours in the day to get things done" tends to crop up.

So, what would you do with an extra hour if it was presented to you? That's right, the day now has 25 hours to it!

I think if the opportunity came along for me, I'd probably look to make money out of somehow, maybe make more of cashbacking, or even look to start selling more on ebay - even though I've only ever sold one thing on it!!!

Many people would probably choose to have an extra hour's sleep, or catch up on tv, maybe do something adventurous, but what would you do?

Feel free to comment below...

Friday, 14 August 2009

The great Cinema rip off

So how often have you gone to the cinema to watch a film, and thought what a rip off, £7??? I remember when it was only.....

Do you believe that the cinemas these days provide value for money, after all, in this day & age of illegal downloading, do you think they would encourage more people to go if they dropped say to a fiver?

Plus, the price of food & drink in these places is unbelievably high, extortionate in fact - what is it, about £7 for a meal deal consisting of a box of popcorn & a coke, or something like that???

On the flip side, the sound of course can't be beaten, unless you happen to have the annoying little ****'s sitting near you who just don't shut up the whole time - see related blog for that!

Anyway, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the great Cinema rip off!

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Have you ever bottled the roller coasters?

Yesterday there was an accident at Blackpool Pleasure Beach which involved two carriages on the famous Big Dipper ride colliding.

21 people have been injured on the ride, some seriously, and this will no doubt put the future of the ride into some doubt.

Have you ever been on the Big Dipper?

From what I can recall, it was pretty wooden based, and also very rickety, which for many roller coaster fans is just the ticket, as it boosts the adrenalin rush as you travel round the track.

I seem to remember the ride almost leaving the tracks as it went through it's dips, but it was still very exhilarating nonetheless.
There are plenty of rides being advertised on the TV, such as the new Saw ride at Thorpe Park, which looks a bit on the scary side, and I'm sure there are equally scary rides up and down the country, and in fact across the globe.

The question I'm asking is do accidents like this put you off going on the roller coasters, or is it just part of taking risks in life?

Have you ever been in the queue for rides, but then turned back before the front of the queue, and bottled it?

Let me know, by adding your comments below.

Friday, 7 August 2009

Thank Crunchie it's Friday

There's a time in life when everyone says that phrase "Thank Crunchie it's Friday" but does anyone ever feel the urge to eat a Crunchie bar on a Friday?

I don't think I ever have, even though I do say it myself sometimes, but can you imagine if they had thought of another bar instead, we could have had any of the following:

Thank Picnic it's Friday!

Thank Skittles it's Friday!

or even Thank Curly Wurly it's Friday!

There are so many potentials with this one, what would you have selected?
Please post below to list your choice.

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Annoying People in the Cinema!

Last night I went to the cinema, and watched a movie with a total of about 10 other people in attendance.

What I couldn't believe was the mix of people in there that just seemed to cause annoyance!

Firstly, we had a couple in front of us, who decided that one of them would talk their way through the film, with a really noticeable low voice, whilst the other one continuously had their hand in a packet of sweets, making plenty of noise throughout, I wanted to empty that bag over her head!!!

Elsewhere we had someone with a silly laugh, that just chuckled it's way through the film, and finally a couple who seemed to be doing a relay race to and from the toilets!

Why can't people just sit quietly and enjoy the film instead of creating a new one themselves????

After all they pay over the odds for the priviledge of it!

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Lawnmower Championships abandoned!

Yes, I know, I couldn't believe it either!

Watching Sky Sports News this morning, up came this interesting little story that the Lawnmower Championship had fallen foul of the weather, and had to be abandoned due to the poor conditions.

I didn't even know such a sport existed, but that's it, no more just brushing those flicks of grass in the back garden lightly with the Flymo, no, this is it, full training for next year's event begins now!

So, those pesky insects better watch out, as I try and do my Michael Schumacher impression in the garden - neeeooooowwwww!

I will be putting together my garden pit crew very soon!

Monday, 3 August 2009

No job? So sue your college!

An interesting story this one spotted on the Beeb's website, where an American woman is suing her college where she achieved a bachelor's degree, as they failed to provide her with leads for a job!

Brilliant, if only I'd thought of this at school, I could of avoided paying attention to those boring classes of education, and claimed after leaving that it was their fault I'd not got a job, and lived off the money that the Court would award me in damages!

Yeah get real - the chances of the Court actually ruling in favour of this New York student are about as great as it never raining in the UK ever again, but imagine if they did fall on the side of the student, talk about a preverbial can of worms being opened.

What other examples could we have?

1) I got totally drunk the other night, but am taking legal action against the pub, as they continued to serve me alcohol after my first pint!

2) I withdrew lots of money from my bank account, but am going to sue the bank for not telling me my bank balance was going to be lower!

3) I spent enough money on Sky Sports in the last 12 months, but am taking them to court as my team continuously lost when live on the tv!

4) I am taking another TV channel to Court, as they insisted on inflicting "passive listening" to Big Brother, quite possibly the worst show on television, so I am taking steps to have those wasted minutes given back to my life!

So much fun could be had with this, any other examples out there?

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Step Brothers!

No, I'm not about to ramble on about my family, but instead the movie called "Step Brothers" - which i watched on the dvd last night.

What a funny film, I don't normally like Will Ferrell films, but found this one quite funny, with the two 39 & 40 year old sons still living at home first of all hating each other, but then getting on with each other, and causing mayhem and chaos all over the place.

My god, imagine living at home with your parents when you are 40 years old, what a nightmare that must be!!!!!