What is the best buffet food?

In work, the group behind me is discussing having a buffet, and the argument came about what was the best buffet food.

Many cries of "sausage rolls" were heard, and in fact could turn out to be the overall winner, but a close contender is sausage on a stick, or pineapple & cheese on sticks, they really do seem to be a popular choice!

Spring rolls are also high up there, as are Doritos surprisingly, but home made butties also made an appearance in the list too.

Are you getting hungry reading this?

Yes?

Well the pain is set to continue as food talk continues, as many more have just been mentioned, like mini rolls, yes, mini rolls, the legendary item of any buffet - it's not a buffet if you don't have some mini rolls thrown in!!!

What else is there?

Pizza, yes, people make their own pizza too, and don't forget the dips, they are obviously a must for the buffet too, oh hold on, a new one has come screaming in at number one...homemade fairy cakes!!!

Mmmmmmmm...fairy cakes (in a Homer Simpson stylee!)

So, what's your favourite in a buffet then?

Let me know...

Paper Cuts - The Evil World of Stationery

What is it with paper cuts???

Is it revenge for all the battering that we give paper in our offices, that one sheet in a pack of 500 suddenly decides to gain his revenge for lots of his mates being screwed up and thrown into a bin, or those that have been shredded into bits and pieces?

I'm sure this is their way of getting back at us, as when it happens, you know it straight away, and then comes the 5 second delay when you look down at your hand, see the slice, and then comes the blood, which no matter if it's a small cut, seems like it's going to never ever stop, and drain your body of your much neede red stuff!

Ay-yay-yay you say as it continues to stream, and normally it's in one of the worst places, you know just on the underneat fold of your finger, or right between them, meaning that you can't touch anything for ages unless you want to give it a glowing red appearance.

As for the worst paper cut, the one where you've just licked an envelope, yes, I can feel the shiver coming across me just thinking about this one, as soon as that slice across the tongue happens - which to me is the rebel envelope of the pack, they are just worse than bits of paper, in fact if I was to compare them to something, paper would be bees that sting you, where as the envelopes would be wasps, you know, they really are bastards of the insect world!

Anyway, that'll do today for today's blog, so watch yourself, health and safety and all that!!

Do you trust your partner?

I've had this discussion with my wife on many occasions now, as one of the most argumentative subjects in relationships comes into question.

Okay, here's the deal:

One man, who shall remain nameless, is in a relationship for around five years, but it's a relationship that hasn't really gone anywhere, and just seems to be plodding along as matter of convenience rather than a full out and out love story.

The man makes all the effort to travel over to his girlfriends' house all the time, and very rarely sees the opposite happen the other way round where the girlfriend makes her way to his.

Then five years into the relationship, the man ends up seeing a beautiful woman on a picture of a friend that he works with, and a week later is introduced to that beautiful woman at a works team night out.

He then decides that he likes the look of this beautiful woman and gets talking to her, and wants to see her again, this during a time when he was still with the other woman.

Then three weeks into the newly found relationship, he gets an ultimatum to either finish with the one he's been out with 5 years, or to end the possible relationship with the beautiful woman.

So, he decides that he wants to end the 5 year relationship, and head for new waters, and that's exactly what he did.

Ten years on that decision proved to be the best, as engagement, followed by marriage was the outcome, and right now it's a happily relationship.

Trust though, seems to be a different issue, as the "cheater" tag is always at the back of the good lady's mind, and the fact that as a saying goes, 'a leopard never changes his spots' - which I always battle against as this is a whole different relationship to the one I ended, as that felt just like it had run it's course.

What would you do?

Would you trust someone 100% who had "two-timed" previously, or would you give them a clean slate?

By the way, I trust my wife 100%.

Why do birds always crap on your car after you've washed it!

Yes, it's a bit of a rant today, as I just got my car washed yesterday, and what happens today it's got a new topping of bird shit on it!

Not just in one place, but in several places, meaning that it'll have to go to the car wash once again to get rid of those flippin marks!

Do these birds just sit at the end of the car wash squawking to each other "here comes another victim" and then watch us leave, keep their little eyes on us, fly home right behind us, sit on our house roof - no doubt having a good old plop right there and then as a warm up for the real thing - then wait for us to head for bed, and then...

The chief bird whistles the rest of the flock over, and squawks "away we go lads let's re-enact world war two on that car of his", and proceed to change the look of my car from a black one to a mixture of back and white - something resembling a Newcastle United football kit, or for those based in the US, an American football referee kit!

I tell you what, it gets my goat this does, I'd just like to go and do the same to them once they've had a nice shower in a nearby puddle, although I don't think I'd escape an indecent exposure charge quite so easily!

Well that's my rant for today, I'm sure this goes on across the world, doesn't it?

To think some people say it's lucky! Ha!

That bloody alarm clock!

Why is it when you are just having the best part of your sleep, that alarm clock just goes and ruins things for you, and tells you to get up!

It's quite possibly the most annoying thing on earth, but every home will have one, no matter how much you want to chuck it out, or even smash it against the wall, it's one thing the majority of the world have to rely on.

I'm sure that these little clocks sit there all night chuckling to themselves just knowing how much they are going to disturb your sleep, and take last night for instance - I couldn't get off to sleep last night - always struggle on a Sunday, and I can tell you it's not the excitement of going to work that's keeping me up, that's for sure!

No, it just seems to be a Sunday night thing for me, maybe it's my body's way of saying, "I ain't finishing for the weekend just yet", but it is really annoying - maybe I should get some hypnotist in, then again, that probably isn't a great idea, as I'll need someone to click their fingers or clap their hands instead of that really annoying alarm clock going off to bring me out of my trance.

Can't see the wife being happy to do that!

Does anyone else have these 'Sunday night issues', and is there a cure you can suggest???

Is the kiss to be replaced?

Having just read a story on the news that in Jordan - that's the country, not the British slapper that is also known as Katie Price - the government have encouraged people to avoid kissing to stop the spread of Swine Flu, which has engulfed the world, since it's major outbreak in Mexico earlier this year.

Will this work???

People all over the world like a good kiss, whether it be a quick peck on the cheek, or a full on frenchy with the other half, we all love doing it surely, one way or the other?

So, how would we cope if we didn't have kisses, what would we do to replace it?

Some suggestions include hugging, smiling, waving, or simply shaking hands, surely people wouldn't ditch a kiss in favour of shaking someones hand, I can see it now, I arrive home from work, "honey I'm home" - immediately the wife would run out to meet me, and just when I think I'm in for a passionate embrace on my return, I get offered a hand to shake instead!

It would just not happen.

Then again, I probably wouldn't be lucky enough to get my wife running out to greet me from work!!!

But let's say that the kiss was not there to use in the first place, what other gestures could be thought of?

How's about one of those things where you continuously slap your hands, you know in a child on the playground sort of way, we could all go back in time and make it an adult thing. How funny would that look as you greet a friend at work???

Another one? Well, you could do the old 'thumb on the nose whilst waggling your fingers' routine, I have no idea what that is called, hence the bizarre explanation!

Maybe we could reverse the rudeness theme, and make sticking out your tongue a greeting to be proud of rather than one you just tut at and think what a rude chap!

There could even be a word invented that we all use instead, and that becomes part of everyday life, or you could just say the word "kiss" and everyone would know what you were doing!

Any others out there?

What does the world think of British music?

Having witnessed Britain's Got Talent runner up Susan Boyle singing Wild Horses on American TV, I was wondering what the world thought of music to come out of the UK?

There are lots of examples of course, ranging from The Rolling Stones to Oasis, the likes of Elton John, who is of course constantly over in Las Vegas performing. Then there was of course, Queen, who had a legendary status over here.

Does British music tend to make it's way over to the US and beyond, or is it all pretty limited to our shores?

Leona Lewis was of course an X-Factor winner a couple of years ago, and seemed to have a bright future ahead of her, and more than likely still does, even though it's gone a bit quite recently, I guess we'll get the usual release at Christmas, as she attempts to be Christmas Number One once again.

But what do you really think of our music, do you like it?

Do you buy or download a lot of British music?

Having tried my hand as a radio presenter in my younger days, I would be interested to hear your views on whether we're on the way up, or on the way down in terms of music popularity across the world.

Does Susan Boyle float your boat?

So, what's your view?

How early do you Christmas shop?

As I started the Countdown to Christmas Blog yesterday, it got me thinking that I need to start buying presents in for people.

Now, I know of people that start very early in the year, I even know people who buy next year's Christmas presents in the after Christmas sales - whaaaaaat?

Yes, how ridiculous, times change, so why buy things that soon? Cards I can understand, but not gifts surely, but yes, some people actually do it.

I tend to have a little too much to think during the rest of the year to worry about getting presents, but then when you think about it, it's actually not a bad idea, and spreads the cost of buying all the stuff at once, so maybe forward planning is the answer here.

Which order do you get your presents?

Personally speaking, I tend to start off with the wife's first, plan that, and buy whatever I've come up with, then get other members of my family sorted, and then eventually return to the wife again, to add a few little gems for that Christmas stocking.

Do you treat yourself to a present too? I think you should, even if it's just a nice drink at the local boozer, a nice cold pint of beer to say well done Banksy, you've done well son.

If not, I recommend everyone does this at least once a year, time to congratulate yourself that you've achieved something for the year!!!

So, when do you start buying your Christmas presents, and when have you normally finished?

Let me know below...

If you could be a movie star for a day...

With the sad passing of Patrick Swayze today, there will be countless tributes I would imagine to the former actor who starred in films such as Ghost & Dirty Dancing.

I was never really a Swayze fan, but did enjoy the film Point Break.

Anyway, turning in a different direction on this blog, if you had the chance to become a movie star for the day, which film would you re-enact?

I would love to be the baddie Terminator in the second film of the series, Terminator 2 - Judgment Day, just to be able to melt myself or transform myself into a different shape that you would come in contact with - how funny would that be?

You could turn into absolutely anything you like, even stun people by being them (just like the security guard in the film), or just wreak havoc by messing around, getting blown up, but then re-forming.

It does sound a bit weird now I've typed it, but I'll save the delete button for a later time, other movie stars I'd like to be would be Leslie Nielsen in Airplane or The Naked Gun, just getting paid to be a loony and pulling strange faces all day!

So, who would you be, and what Movie would you you want to re-enact?

Do you believe in fate, or is it all coincidence?

After watching Derren Brown, who to those who are not based in the UK, is an illusionist who correctly predicted the National Lottery results over here last week, (how he did it is debatable, but he did do it) I got thinking about luck, predictions, and fate, you all that type of thing.

So my question to you all is do you believe in fate, or is it all just a big coincidence?

I do believe in fate, as I don't think it can be based all around coincidence, there are too many examples of being in the right place at the right time, or come to think of it being in the wrong place at the wrong time also!

I have been in a place where an opportunity would never had arose if I have not been there, so had I not been there, I would never have known about it!

Hmm, this is starting to sound a bit deep, like those "if no-one is there to see it, how do we know that when a tree falls in the woods, it makes a sound" thoughts, so I'll just ask the simple question...

Do you believe in fate?

We're all hypocrites really aren't we?

It's a general statement to make I know, but all of us are guilty of hypocrisy, I believe.

Why?

Because we all (I'm pretty sure) do things that we raise our eyebrows at others for, for instance, speeding in the car, we all tend to see someone go past us at some stage of driving and think to ourselves "bloody speeder, where's the police when you want them" - and yet we're happy to do the same at a different time, and most probably, if we got caught, we'd say that it was unfair, and that they should be concentrating on other crimes more important than speeding!

Just like when you tut at people who are drunk on the streets having had a big night out, and yet, you have probably done the same, and not given it a minute's thought about annoying other people!

I'm sure there are plenty of examples out there, what do you think?

Are you guilty of being a hypocrite?

9/11 - Do you feel safe in 2009?

Out of respect for the readers on the other side of the water, I'm putting my serious head on for today, and am asking the question on whether you feel safe in 2009, following the events and fall out since that fateful day 8 years ago.

Everyone can remember what they were doing 8 years ago, on the 11th September, it was mid afternoon in the UK, and I recall being at my then girlfriend's house, hearing that a plane had crashed into a tower, and believing it to be in this country, until I saw the footage of what had happened.

It was at that point that the second tower was hit, and the disaster that soon followed was clear for all to see, and distressing to say the least.

This was the first time that national security had been breached in the US, and all of a sudden the world was no longer a safe place to live in.

Since then, we had 7/7 in London, where bombs went off in the capital in a terror attack, and other cities became under attack too.

We are now in 2009, and the question I'm asking is do you feel safe in 2009?

The war in Afghanistan continues but still no resolution is apparent, and soldiers continue to lose their lives in what has become a 'bloody war', which in my opinion should have been over a long time ago.

I myself feel safe in my country as far as terrorist attacks, but that's not to say you don't look over your shoulder at times, or question what people are doing when it looks a bit strange.

What do you think, do you feel safe in your country?

How much should you spend on presents?

An age old argument between people is how much money they should spend on their partners for Birthday or Christmas presents.

Should there be such a high importance placed on things such as the value of presents?

No of course not, but the argument goes on all over the world that they felt that their other half should have spent more than what they did on the last birthday or christmas present.

Maybe you don't buy any anyway, and prefer to do something else

Valentines Day is the same of course, with the value of presents shooting up, well maybe not the value but the cost certainly does, whereas the value is probably goes lower.

So, how much would you be prepared to spend, and what do you think is an acceptable amount to spend on your partner?

What do you get up to in your Sleep?

Last night, a rather bizarre but common place thing happened in bed.









I won't go into sordid details here don't worry, but my head had just hit the pillow after watching tv for the past couple of hours, and I pretty much drifted off to sleep, when suddenly I found myself in dreamland.

Nothing wrong with that I hear you cry, but the next minute I experienced one of those "almost real" moments, you know where you actually feel like you are living the dream, but in reality...hmmm does that make sense?

Well, you know what I mean, anyway, I was convinced an object was about to fall straight on my head and it produced a "real" reaction, when I ducked, but in a horizontal way, yes, imagine lying in bed on your side, and ducking!

It woke me up with a shock, but not half as much as the shock for my other half who I kneed up the bum as I "ducked", that certainly woke her up, and was not best pleased, "What the fuck did you do that for" was the response, only then did I mention my "dream" scenario.

Anyway, after that, we both laughed, but it made me think, there must be more people out there who did this kind of thing unintentionally, so please world, put me out of my misery and tell me you've done that too!

What sweets did you like as a kid?

Following a story about a rejected approach to take over Cadbury's, I thought I'd go back in time, and bring up the subject of what we all liked to eat as a kid.

By that, I mean what kind of chocolate bar or sweets we liked as a kid.

There are so many out there, that I'm sure lots of people have different favourites from, one of mine has to be Flying Saucers, you know those little sweets, that are basically sherbet inside two cardboard discs put together - the perfect mix: Cardboard & Sherbet!

There was also Bon Bons, but which one would you like? Strawberry, Lemon, or the White Toffee ones?

Also, the choice of stuff then & now was/is endless, and you could get sickly sweet Caramacs, or even Space Dust which was just quality - that's the stuff that you put on your tongue and all of a sudden your tongue went ballistic, with the dust popping all over the place.

Other favourites of mine when I was little included Curly Wurly's, Dib Dabs - mmmm, I'm salivating at the thought of that right now, and also Chewitts!

I know those in the US call sweets "candy" I think, so not sure if you got those over the water there, but I'm sure there was something similar if not exactly the same.

So, how many more do you remember from your youth that you enjoyed?

Let me know...

Big Breakfasts are GOOD for you!

That's it, scientists have revealed that eating a bigger breakfast helps to lose weight!!!

That's it then, a full English every day of the week from now on then, how long have I waited for news like this, and now it's finally here!

Scientists said that eating more at breakfast helps avoid the craving for "snacking" during the morning, and that you won't get as hungry following that bigger breakfast.

It shows that after 8 months of eating a bigger breakfast, a select group of people lost 16 pounds each after continuing to eat bigger breakfasts!

So, what better news can you have to start the week off than to lose weight eating a nice brekky, so thank you scientists, thank you!

So, what are you going to have for your breakfast tomorrow then?

Let me know!

Why you little winker!

It's Friday yet again, the best day of the working week, and so let's talk about a subject we see at some stage of life - winking.

Yes, that's right, winking.

I don't mean the kind of winking where you are suddenly accused of trying to get yourself set up with someone, no, I'm on about those muscle spasm type things where your eyes decide to suddenly appear as though you are winking at everyone!

Has anyone on here ever experienced that?

I guess it comes from tiredness, but it sure plays hell with your face, and do people really see it when it happens to you?

I always feel the need to tell them that "I'm not really winking at you, just in case you think I am", as I'm that paranoid over it, I mean, I don't want any fella getting the wrong impression about me by thinking "he's winking at me"!

It's not just restricted to the face either, does anyone experience those moments where your body feels like it's having a popping battle?

Your arm or leg suddenly goes into spasm when you're sitting funny or something like that, and how is it that when you try to attract attention to it, it stops, guaranteeing looks that are virtually claiming "You're weird".

Anyway, I ask these questions of the world, just so I can hope that I'm not on my own with this involuntary winking disease.

As I said bizarre subject, but it's Friday!

Why's it so hard to stay awake?

Today, I feel like I'm a walking zombie.

That horrible feeling of starting the day when my eyes are only allowing themselves to open half way and then deciding to roll around one of those little ball bearing games that drives you mad - all this whilst trying to sit in a meeting listening to people.

Why do they always insist on looking at you when your tired eyes are on this tour of the world, and you know damn well that the talkers are thing "how ignorant?", but you just can't help it, it has this hold over you!

Everything people tell you goes in one ear and out of the other, you just can't concentrate, and need sleeeeeeeeep!

It's no fun I can tell you, I've tried caffeine in the drinks today in a bid to keep going, hell I'm only just managing to write this blog - has anyone got any offers of help to....to....zzzzzzz...to...zzzzzz....to give me something to keep me awake?

What do you do when you're in this sleepy situation? Let me know....

Spiders - Why are they so scary???

Thinking about what scares you in life, well one of the most common things in life is people getting scared of Spiders!

Spiders just look at you with their evil eyes, I'm sure they even wink at you whilst scaring the shit out of you!

However, people always say, they are scared of you due to their size, rubbish - if that were the case they wouldn't hang around over your head whilst you lie in bed, or even set up residence in your car, bedroom window, or even your clothes - you know what, I think they just want to be your best friend!

Last night in our house, one pretty large eight legged fiend was travelling across the sofa, you know the bit where you lean back on, prompting my other half to propel herself off the sofa and produce quite possibly the loudest scream ever heard in the history of the Earth, christ, even the Spider jumped!

It really did!

So, do Spiders scare you?

Who do you rely on to come and get them?

How do you (or they) get rid of them?

Do you kill 'em or just chuck them out back?

Or are you one of those strange breed of people who actually like them?

Maybe you take them for a walk, invite them round for a drink - hmmm, there we go, there's an experiment to try, pour some alcohol into a bowl, throw Spidey in there, and watch it get drunk, now that could be interesting!

Anyway, I've digressed, you like them or not?

BBQ in the Rain? Only in....the UK?

This weekend has been a bank holiday weekend in wonderful England, and a week ago where I live decided to hold a BBQ in our cul-de-sac, with everyone chipping in with food & drink.

Anyway the week passed with the build up continuing, and everyone, kids and all, looking forward to a nice relaxed afternoon in the sun, soaking up the rays whilst chomping on numerous unhealthy items of food!

So, the weekend arrived, a great day on Saturday, nice and warm, then onto Sunday, jumped up out of bed - well maybe a slight exaggeration there - has anyone ever jumped out of bed on a Sunday morning in the history of mankind? - anyway as I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, got out of bed, drew back the curtains expecting to see the big ball of sun in the sky, but no, something quite different - black clouds, drizzle, wind, hmmm the BBQ was off.

But no, we all thought, we're Brits, and nothing is gonna stop us now (isn't that a song, Starship 'n all that?) and so we proceeded to get the BBQ out for lunch, lay the seats out complete with parasols, and all gold umbrellas came out of the boots of cars on the street, preparation, it's all about the preparation.

So, we all sat there, about 20 of us with the chef at the BBQ cooking away whilst getting soaked by the rain, which turned torrential whilst we were all sat under the brollies making sure those hot dogs & burgers went to the right home!

Then, with us all wet through (the umbrellas didn't cover everything!), we waved at the people on the nearby trains going past, who must have thought "what the hell...", and then to top it off the ice cream man came round the corner, the look on his face said it all as he saw us all sitting there having a BBQ in the rain!

Well, we had to then grab an ice cream didn't we, you know to mix in with the burgers, hot dogs, beer & wine that was being sunk, the perfect mix hey???

He must have driven off thinking "you stupid buggers!"

So, a great day was had by all, the morale of the tale, don't let the weather get you down!!!

Now keeping it clean, what's the most bizarre thing you've ever done in the wet weather?